Near the end of 2018....

This year didn't end quite as I planned, for a few reasons, first off the elephant in the room, Weight - I am heavier than I was at the beginning of the year. The second thing, is my hand/wrist or whatever you want to call it, has not healed.... but we are a step closer to knowing what it is... there is a lump sitting on the tendons or nerves (yet to be confirmed), so every-time those nerves or tendons get used it causes a huge sharp pain, so what does this mean, for now I am splinting it, in the hopes the lump may disappear, which is highly unlikely and it looks like surgery is going to be the only option, but we need to hope it has not binded to the tendons or nerves, if that is the case the surgery wont be very nice. For now it s a wait and see, till the specialists etc are back on deck in the New Year. It is a minimum 6 week recovery time, I am glad that we know what it is, well we have a good idea, we just dont know the extent of it for now. I go back to the GP on Friday.

So where does this leave me, well I am grateful I have not gained all the weight back, but I can feel I have gained too much back, I can feel it in my back, in my clothes and just generally feel crappy. I am planning on getting back to the gym, but wont be doing many upper exercises I dont think cause of the wrist/hand, but I can do cardio and lower stuff...... 

Christmas was very quiet this year, the twins were in Auckland at their dads, David went to his sisters and I stayed home all by myself with the puppies. The weather was scheduled for heavy rain and thunder, and we dont like leaving Chico alone as she has seizures when stressed. Having said that I really enjoyed the time to myself. David has 2 weeks of work, well only 1 week left now......

Dont really have many plans over the next week, as I am still doing some nails, David has some more time off end of January, so might do some day trips then. 

So there you have it, I am sure I had more to say but cant remember off hand what it is.... so below is the goals for 2019.

GOALS FOR 2018:

Gym:
I am starting back tomorrow, how I am going to go, I am not sure. Will be playing it by ear..... It may just be small bouts to begin with, till I can get some fitness back, and will also depend on how my hand holds out. I really want to be going back 5 days a week again by February at the latest.

Food:
We (David & I) are both starting back tomorrow doing lower carb, we both know it works well and we always feel better when we are on track. I am still going to be eating all veges and fruit though. Am not going to lie, its going to be a struggle getting back on track... but I have too, I hate how I feel after gaining some of the weight back. 

WEIGHT:
My goal for this is to lose 40 Kilo's by the end of 2019, this will happen by going to the gym and eating lower carb throughout the whole year. This works out to be about 770 grams a week. I am not sure if I am going to weigh weekly, monthly or daily, there are advantages and disadvantages to each. But I think weekly is prob my best option. I have not hopped on the scale in a while and am dreading the first weigh in, but I have to do it. Weigh in will be Monday's (if I do weekly), so first official weigh in will be tomorrow - scary shit, let me tell you :(. 

NAILS:
My goal for this is to be working minimum 30 hours a week, by the end of the 2019. I have just changed brands and my motivation has returned, which is nice. I plan to do minimum 4 courses this year to keep the motivation going, as well as pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. 

I am not a failure........

Everything in my life has been out of control, and to be honest I don't give a fuck..... well thats a lie, I do actually give a fuck. Ok when I say everything, I mean one thing and that is the dreaded word that begins with 'F' - FOOD!!!!!
Well actually there are two things FOOD and EXERCISE. But you know what, that is soon going to change.....

I have one more week of busy nails and then I have the time to get back into a good healthy lifestyle. I am only doing the odd client between Christmas and the 8th January. So I am going to use that time to get back into some sort of healthy eating and exercise. I actually am just about over eating junk food and being lazy. So for now the plan is to start back at the gym on the 24th December, and I even plan to go Christmas Day. I was going to wait till the New year, but I am not doing anything exciting over the Christmas break, so figured starting a week earlier, will only do me good :). I am not sure how often I will weigh in, thinking weekly rather than monthly. Hell I  might even go for a small walk this week... as for my achilles, the pain is still there, but again I know I cant do any damage apparently it wont snap or anything, not even sure if it is achilles or again the chronic pain. 

Food wise, I want to get back to lower carb, but eat higher carb fruits and veges, its got to be a better option than junk food. The food I am eating currently I know is not doing the chronic pain any good either. 

Onto my nerve pain in my wrist/hand, that has not decreased at all...... so am not sure what the next step is for that. But for now, there is not a lot that can be done, I still hope it will just magically disappear. 


GOALS FOR 2019:

Exercise:
*  GYM: 5 days a week
*  WALKING: 1 - 2 days a week (Goal to be able to walk minimum 10K's each walk)

FOOD:
*  Lower Carb - but keeping in all fruit and higher carb veges (but keeping them to a minimum)

THINGS I AM GOING TO ACHIEVE IN 2019:

*  Be walking 10kms two - three times a week
*  Lose 35+ Kilos (77+ Lbs)
*  Go Surfing
*  Start Belly Dancing
*  Be working full time at nails
*  Be able to do a cross-fit class or something similar on a regular basis
*  Have a personal trainer 1 - 2 times a week. 

I am going to list these goals in the sidebar and add to them if I think of more, or cross them off when I achieve them :).

So thats it for now, you probably wont see me till Monday the 24th December...

I am not a failure, cause I am not giving up...

Hope you all have a great week and catch you in about a weeks time :). 

Things are a little......

busy, yip things are a little busy - heaps of nails, so that means other things have taken a back seat, including the gym. To be honest I think it will be like this till after Christmas - I need to put nails first for these next 2 weeks, I also did nails this morning. 

Now onto better things, I think my hand/wrist is actually starting to improve, the last couple of days, I have only been getting the odd bout of shooting pain, so am being slightly optimistic. 

Cant believe that Christmas is only just over 2 weeks away, I know it is not just me, but man this year has sped by. I don't think I will be doing much, my sister is doing a lunch (I might go), the twins will be in Auckland, David is spending it with his family (I think), at this stage I don't really feel like doing much, so might even have just a nice day at home. I might go to my sisters or maybe with David, but in all honesty I am pretty busy with nails and by then might just want a day to recoup.

Today we finally have sun, yesterday we also had sun, before that we had days and days of rain and thunder and lightening.... suppose to be nice tomorrow as well, then rain again for all of next week.

I am not sure when I will update next, but am for the next 2 weeks going to set myself some goals for 2019, both work goals and personal goals :). Where I want to be at the end of 2019, including holiday goals, medication goals, weight goals, fitness goals.

At this stage we don't have a holiday planned for next year but am pretty sure we will go somewhere. Hoping the Gold Coast but who knows.

So if I don't come on here before Christmas, have a great Christmas everyone and will see you at the end of the year or early 2019. I am planning to end 2019 by achieving all my goals I have set at the beginning of the 2019 :)

Stay safe and keep smiling :).

Yes I did....

Yes I did go to the gym, I did a slightly smaller workout but still managed to burn 768 active calories. I did strength training, but did use lower weights, I think it felt good.....

As I was on one of the machines, about to change the handle of it before I began, an almighty crash happened and part of the machine collapsed.... Think the whole gym stopped what they were doing to see what had happened.... I think it was somebody's way of telling me not to use that piece of equipment..... now it has a nice sign on it saying not to use it whoops lol.

Then this is what I looked like after the gym, even though it was a smaller workout I still felt knackered....God I need a haircut lol, I suppose you are not suppose to look like you have just done a full face of makeup after a gym session ;). 

After that I spent some time in the nail room, yesterday I did about 3 hours in the nail room, and OMG the pain in my wrist was so bloody sore last night. Today I only spent about 2 hours and did stuff that didn't require me to use my hands too much. 

Not really in the mood for Christmas this year, normally by now I would have done the tree etc, maybe tomorrow morning, have some nails to do in the afternoon. The twins will be at their dads, I am not sure what we/I will be doing at this stage.

Anyway thats it for now, thought I better do this now before I forget and you all think I didn't go to the gym :). 

Not giving up...

I am not a failure, as I am not giving up..... ok I am really going to fake it till I make it.

Gym, have not been in 2 weeks, am going again tomorrow, I want to go, I need to go. The pain in my wrist/hand is still there, it is not getting any better so resting it is not making it any better, so may as well do a workout. 

I weighed in today, the scales were surprisingly not as high as I expected, but they were still up....

So for now one day at a time..... maybe one hour at a time..... or maybe one minute at a time. 

So thats it for now, let's hope tomorrow's post is a positive one with a gym update :). 

Jen we can do this :). 

Struggling.....

I am not going to lie, I am really struggling, I have lost motivation for anything. 

I know it will come back, am hoping it will be sooner rather than later. I didn't go to the gym today, for no reason except I couldn't be bothered. I wont be going tomorrow, have courier parcels that are arriving in the morning, that I need to be home for (work stuff), I could go after but I wont, so I am not even going to  pretend that I am even thinking of going. 

I know I never mentioned food in the last post, I did mean too, but somehow just forgot too..... Food is about 60% good, 40% bad, I need to change that around. I have not weighed and am dreading the first weigh in, I know I have gained, I can feel it, and I know not weighing is doing more harm than good.

The pain in my wrist/hand is a little better (I think), but until I do some nails and go back to the gym, I wont really know for sure. I go to the doctor on Friday morning. Tomorrow I plan to spend most of the day in the nail room, reorganising a bit, and swatching all the new stuff that has/is arriving in. 

Ok thats the negatives, let's focus on the positives, this weekend, I am going to set up the Christmas tree in the lounge, and hopefully the nail room. Feeling Christmasy might make me feel more positive. 

I do plan to go to the gym on Thursday, though a part of me is thinking just start on Monday with a new week, food and exercise wise. I do know the pain in my wrist/hand is playing a huge part in how I am feeling, nerve pain sucks big time. Even just typing this up is causing me to spasm, I need to remember that I am not doing any damage so need to keep using it, no matter how painful. Oh thats right, we are suppose to be talking about the positive ;).

Anyway thats it, catch you later - am really going to try and get into the Christmas spirit this week and that will perk me up :). 

Not much happening.....

Since my last post nothing has happened, didn't have a car all week, so have not left the house since Monday. David used my car all week, to be honest I didn't care as my wrist/hand has been playing up. Weather has been wet, cold and just blah all week, so be honest not leaving the house hasn't been too much of an issue. 

The wrist/hand is still taped up, it is starting to feel a bit better, nails have been a little difficult to do, but am getting there. It is suppose to rain all week again, which I am sure is not helping with the pain. Where the fuck is Spring, hell we are hitting Summer in about a week, and we have had nothing but cold, wet miserable weather....

Not sure what my plans for the week will be, all I know for certain is I see my doctor on Friday and have some nails to do. 

Have been watching the race this afternoon, in case you don't know what race I am talking about, it is the Supercars in Newcastle Aussie. 

I don't really have a-lot to say, as I have not been doing much, not sure of it will be the gym tomorrow or not, to be honest I am really struggling getting up before 9am. This is so not like me as I have always been an early morning person. Not sure if it is because I am having a restless sleep due to the pain so am just sleeping in or what, well thats all I can think of......

Hopefully in the next week or so things will sort themselves out....

Anyway thats it for now... be back later in the week :).